


I Forgot Where We Were

by montes-carpatus (Carpathyah)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Adultery, Angst, M/M, Smut, one-night stand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 21:52:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4409180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpathyah/pseuds/montes-carpatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was the man with the perfect love, waiting for him at home. He was the man with no one;  with a heart that refused to heal. For both of them, they entered the chapel hoping for answers to their lives and they could only learn so much of the other. The organ rung in their ears as if they were both screaming their frustration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Forgot Where We Were

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry.

He hated weddings. The idea of himself never getting the chance of walking down the aisle with the man he loved was enough to create a void of distaste for any kind of matrimony. He tried to have him tag along but it was proving to be an impossible task. He brought it up during happier times but it created an air of annoyance that made them snap and bicker until dawn.

“Fine, I’ll go to the wedding alone,” Gavin shouted to his lover of many years. 

“Fine! Go, I don’t care,”Michael responded. That was the end of the conversation. They went back to their personal works. As angry as they were they would meet later in their queen size bed, and like magnets, they would find each other in the sheets and wake up with tangled limbs. 

He believed that they still had the romance that brought them together in the first place. Sure, they weren’t playing with each other’s tongues as often as they used to, but the moments that they did were followed by chuckles and more kisses.

Gavin wasn’t used to going to events without Michael beside him. He went out and bought a new suit for the occasion. He hooked it on the door.

The morning Gavin his suit on, Michael helped him knot his blue tie and fixed his hair so it wasn’t a complete mess. He felt more and more betrayed that he wouldn’t be there with him, to have fun, to have some laughs and a few drinks. He understood his frustration since long ago when they decided that they didn’t need marriage to be official. 

“You look great,” Michael complimented as he kissed him. Little, quiet kisses, that tickled Gavin’s lips.

“Thanks,” Gavin smiled. 

Upon walking into the chapel, he recognized a face from where he was standing. The closer he got, the happier he was to see a familiar face.

“Joel?” Gavin asked outloud. Joel was surprised to see him as well. They agreed to sit beside the other.

“Surprised you’re alone, where’s Michael?” Joel asked politely to make conversation.

“He doesn’t like weddings,” Gavin replied bluntly. They looked around the chapel and saw that the majority came with someone. “Was bringing someone mandatory?”

“Geez, I hope so, I could’ve brought my mom,”Joel joked. Gavin chuckled. The weight of Michael not being there was eased as Joel was constantly sarcastic. As the ceremony started, the playful look on his face disappeared, leaving a very tired looking, older, Joel. Gavin turned to the groom at the end of the aisle. He was a friend, a co-worker, to both of them. Though, by the way Joel avoided looking straight ahead hinted at another title. He could feel the weight that Joel must carry on his heart after all this time.

“I didn’t know,” Gavin mumbled to Joel. He was never really in that part of the office either; where they worked. He only saw edited clips on the website and the occasional office party. 

“No one knew, I was a fucking idiot,” he replied. He was agitated, wanted to run outside for a smoke or two. 

He was the man with the perfect love, waiting for him at home. He was the man with no one; with a heart that refused to heal. For both of them, they entered the chapel hoping for answers to their lives and they could only learn so much of the other. The organ rung in their ears as if they were both screaming their frustration.

They remained silent for the remaining time. Gavin watched the wedding, daydreaming about his own, if it were to ever happen. Michael would cry, and he would blubber up like an idiot. There was no rings on his fingers to hint at even a promise. Marriage was something that seemed beautiful in context but ugly when it secretly broke someone’s heart. 

“I want to get the fuck out of here,” Joel said the moment the priest declared them married. He was up quickly and Gavin could only follow. 

“Am I really obligated to go to the reception now?” Joel angrily asked Gavin before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it 

“No, you’re not, and if you’re not going, I won’t go either,” he replied calmly. 

They decided to go anyways, but to make use of the open bar as much as they could. It would numb any remaining regret. 

People passed them, to thank them for coming. Gavin got more than a dozen questions to where Michael was, if everything was alright. He would smile and lie that Michael was sick and rather not bring it to the party. Joel could only watch how Gavin’s bottom lip trembled every time he had to assure friends that they were still a duo, and listen to how if they were to fail, their entire image would fail and it would crush everyone.

“It’s worse than being a celebrity couple,” Joel passed him another glass of cranberry and tequila. Gavin was quick to chug it down, feeling the alcohol burn on the way down.

“Bloody hell, it never fucking ends,” Gavin swore. Joel wasn’t accustomed to hearing Gavin swear. He only took it that the alcohol was doing its job. Joel put his hand in Gavin’s hair and messed it up as much as he could and making it ten times worse than usual. “Thanks.”  
About half way through, and with enough alcohol in their system, they left. Barely stayed for the food; there wasn’t a point to listen to the bride speak. 

Austin was alive at night, but it was slightly cold. Gavin had forgotten about Michael and his only thoughts were about Joel and how he hated weddings, and would prefer to never get invited to one again. Gavin inhaled some of Joel’s cigarette smoke, and while it left his mouth dry, it began to comfort him. 

Of course the liquor store was still open, and was it a sight to see two well dressed men in suits with flowers in their pockets bickering if they should get the whiskey or the gin. 

“You’re not a man if you drink straight gin,” Joel insulted.

“Says the arse who’s trying to conserve their masculinity with a bloody bottle of cheap whiskey,” Gavin spat back. Joel grabbed Gavin by the tie and let go faster than he grabbed him. Gavin was afraid for a minute as he was much bigger than him and if Joel was to throw a punch, he would lose some teeth.

They ended up buying both. Forgetting that they had nothing to lose, they ripped their ties off their neck and threw them into a bin.

Drinking straight out of the bottle in the park was a sight. Everything became funnier when their heads were spinning. 

“Did you forget about Michael yet?” Joel hiccuped, taking another gulp of whiskey from the bottle. Gavin took a gulp as well and raised to his feet in a clumsy fashion. 

“Fuck Michael Jones, fuck him tonight, and I’ll probably fuck him tomorrow,” he yelled. He tried walking forward but he was too drunk and he tripped over his feet. He laid in the grass, letting his vision trick him into seeing four moons up in the sky. “I’ll fuck him tomorrow.” he repeated several times.

Joel watched the scene with pity. Gavin was so in love with Michael a few years ago. He remembered him, at 27, in love like a teenager. He was 31 and laying in the grass subtly mumbling about fucking his boyfriend. If this was it was like to be in love with someone, he never wanted to go through with anyone ever again and die a bitter old man.

“Are you over him yet?” Gavin asked Joel. Joel crawled to where Gavin laid, not caring if he stained the knees of his trousers. 

“Like it’s easy, I am too old for shit like this,” Joel spoke. 

“If I could, I would bloody bang you,” Gavin mentioned. Joel broke out with laughter before looking at Gavin in the face. His blue eyes couldn’t look straight. He sat up, his shirt was missing the first few buttons and his cheeks were burning red.

“You can’t be serious.”

Gavin took a long gulp of gin and looked at Joel with heavy lidded eyes. Whatever was going through Gavin’s head was going to be a tragic mistake, and Joel tried snapping himself out of it. 

“Gavin, we can’t, you can’t,” Joel pushed him off of him.

“You want to feel loved?”

“Yes, but-”

“I can make you feel loved.” 

The words intoxicated Joel’s mind worse than the whiskey, and he let himself be courted by the man that was Gavin Free. He wasn’t a child, he was a man, they were consenting adults that have drank enough to chuck rationality out the window.

Who is Michael Jones?

In the red light of the hostel, they removed their suits; thrown their shoes across the room. It smelled of melted wax and cheap perfume. Joel never touched him first, he let Gavin, naked and all come towards him and kiss him. His unkempt beard scratched against Joel’s skin. The silk sheets weren’t any better than the cold grass they were laying on only an hour ago. It tugged at their leg hair and created unnecessary friction.

Gavin was loving. Behind his loveless exterior was a man who only wanted was to give everything he ever had. He was afraid of love, they were both afraid of love. They were afraid of the uncertainty of a relationship that could send them on a rollercoaster straight to heartbreak hell that could only be cured with a glass bottle of alcohol. 

Joel held onto Gavin as if he was going to disappear, and he was going to disappear. This was a one time event, and he wanted to hold onto the feeling of being wanted, of someone looking at him with lust and seeing them crawl towards him like an animal. He wasn’t his, and he could never be his in the red lit room. Only the walls will remember, the opening of the liquor bottles will remember.

Joel slipped the condom on as Gavin shook. His lips red and swollen, calling out Joel’s name. It wasn’t slick enough but Gavin was too intoxicated to feel the friction and Joel was overwhelmed by his spinning head and the pleasure to even think of slowing down. He wanted to leave marks, bite marks, kiss marks, but Gavin was quick to push his mouth away. No evidence.

Again, Gavin wasn’t his to taint. He saw past scars of teeth along his collarbones and it made his heart feel like it was going to drop into his stomach, only for a moment before he was determined to make marks elsewhere.

Gavin couldn’t remember the last time the sex was as good as this. Had it been that long… was he still around by force of habit or was it truly love. He couldn’t, he didn’t, want to, forget…

He shook hard as Joel held on painfully to his hips. They were the only marks he’ll manage, even if they don’t last into the next morning.

Gavin woke the next morning to his cellphone ringing across the room. His head spun and he could tell immediately he wasn’t in his bed. He turned over to see the figure that wasn’t his boyfriend. His eyes couldn't adjust to the red light, it was making his brain make too many conclusions too quickly. He pulled himself out of bed. His back hurt and by the time he reached his phone he had already missed the call.

Missed Calls  
Michael Jones (10)  
Lindsay Tuggey (2)  
Ray Narvaez Jr. (3)

Voicemails  
7 Unread Messages

Gavin wanted to call him in, tell him he’ll be home soon. Finish the call with an I love you.

Maybe it was the hangover, because Gavin suddenly felt like a lost entity. The red light was changing colours before his eyes and his naked body felt hot, sticky and separate. He looked at his hands to check if he was really dreaming. His hands, the phone, his feet.

He dropped the phone, he frantically searched the switch for the red light. He switched everything on and off, his breaths coming out sporadic and broken. The room became dark.

“Gavin?” Joel mumbled as he awoke to the shuffling.

“We banged,” Gavin spoke. Joel rose up, seeing Gavin’s figure in the dim light coming from the curtains.

“Gavin,” Joel repeated, softer this time. 

He was crashing down, it was not what he intended, but his intentions were similar. He pulled the curtains open, it must’ve been late, late-morning, but not quite mid-day. He needed to get out of there, here, and get home, back to the man he claimed to be his only…

But he was no longer, as he turned to Joel in the bed. Who seemed to try to get the world to stop spinning in front of him. He looked up at the ceiling, not making the effort to feel the same kind of regret that Gavin was feeling. He was a lonely man, he had made a mistake, he had nothing to lose. 

Gavin couldn’t decide on hating him. Hating him from the pit of his stomach, and up into his throat. 

“What are we going to do?” Joel asked. 

“I-I don’t know…” Gavin admitted, feeling defeated.

“You know what we can do? We’re going to walk out like nothing happened, we stayed out late, had a few beers and crashed at my place, nothing suspicious, nothing to ruin your beautiful relationship, and when we go back to work on Monday, we’re co-workers, nothing more,” Joel’s voice faded as he jumped out of bed and started searching for his clothes.

“Yeah! That sounds perfect,” Gavin said as he searched for his clothes. That’s it, he erased the memory out of his head. Joel felt his heart drop, knowing very well he couldn’t. They got dressed and paid their room.

“Yeah, Michael, I’m sorry, I got bloody bevved up last night and Joel was kind enough to let me sleep over,” Gavin said on the phone. The taxi ride was awkward, Joel’s phone was dead. “Yes, I’m alright, Joel gave me the couch. I’ll be home soon alright?” Gavin’s voice was calm, collected, and he looked calm from Joel’s point of view.

“Yeah, the couch,” Joel mumbled to himself as he stared out the window to get back to his car. Gavin stayed quiet, his shirt looking like a wreck, and Joel offered him a t-shirt to hide the evidence. 

“Thanks, really,” Gavin replied as he unbuttoned his white shirt and slipped on the t-shirt. Joel didn’t answer, only changed into something more comfortable. 

The drive back to the apartment was long, felt like time dragged on. The radio wasn’t on, and they could only listen to the traffic around him. Joel almost missed their block; wasn’t paying attention. 

“See you Monday?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah, see you Monday, love him hard, okay?” Joel said. Gavin looked at him into the window.

“Yeah, I will, good luck,” he forced a smile and left. 

Gavin made love to Michael that night. Joel sat at home and watched TV. The remnants of that night to have disappeared, for the time being. For when Gavin closed his eyes, he could only see one face, and that was Joel’s.


End file.
